THE ADVENTURE OF RANDOMNESS!
by Harry's Girl 01031992
Summary: Me, Random Little Writer, Nausicaa of the Spirits and a whole bunch of characters decide to go on a random adventure. What randomness will ensue! R&R! Sequel to Those Darn Paparazzi!.
1. Desires for Random Adventures

**Disclaimer: I don't own Corpse Bride or any other famous thing in this fic… how sad…

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Harry's Girl 01031992 was bored out of her skull. Her family had gone away for the weekend and she elected to stay behind because she knew it was going to be boring. She listened to every CD that she had; swore in French at random things around the house including a paper shredder, the blender, a lawn gnome and her sister's MP3 player; sang the song "Ma Pétroleuse" from the French movie Atomik Circus: Le Retour de James Bataille; and danced around the house like an idiot.

When all of this was done, she decided she wanted to have a random adventure with Victor Van Dort, Victoria Everglot, Emily, Nausicaa of the Spirits, Random Little Writer, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, Wallace, Gromit, Lady Tottington, Victor Quartermaine, and Jack Skellington. She notified everybody about her desire to have a random adventure via magical portal. She went to the vacant community center where they met up and discussed what they wanted to do during this excursion.

"Let's just be random," Random Little Writer said. "You did want a random adventure after all."

"We should just be able to do what we want on a whim," Nausicaa said. "Any suggestions?"

A reluctant Wallace raised his hand.

"Yes, Wallace?" Harry's Girl asked.

"I've always wanted to go to New York City." Wallace declared.

"Then New York City it is!" Victor V. exclaimed.

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_Sorry this chapter is so short... but it is the beginning chapter... Review and tell me what you think and I shall send out gel pens, sparkling grape juice, and portraits of Victor Van Dort. Oh yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	2. La Vie Boheme Syndrome and Loud Tummies!

Disclaimer: _Référez-vous au chapitre un_ (refer to chapter one)

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits** and** Dawn Over the Valley** for reviewing!

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Everybody went through the magical portal to get to NYC. When they got there, they were amazed by what they saw. People were bustling on the streets; they saw huge billboards that went above the sky scrapers; they saw people of different ethnicities walk down the street, speaking in different tongues. 

Just then, a huge rumbling sound went out through the sidewalk they were standing on. There was an awkward silence after that rumble.

"What the flip was that?" Victoria asked.

"I think it was someone's stomach rumbling." Emily said. "Who's the owner of the obnoxious stomach?"

An embarrassed Jack Sparrow raised his hand. "Guilty as charged, mates." He said.

"Let's go get something to eat." Lady Tottington said. "I know a great place nearby." They walked a couple of blocks until they saw the restaurant The Life Café. They walked in and sat down.

"I have this strange urge to put some tables together and start randomly singing about random things." Harry's Girl said.

"Oh no!" Random and Nausicaa exclaimed in unison.

"What is it?" Victor asked.

"La Vie Bohème Syndrome!" they replied.

"La Vie Bohème Syndrome?" Quartermaine scoffed cynically. "Is this a made up disease?"

"No!" Jack Skellington replied. "It's a disease that affects RENT-heads whenever they go into restaurants. They always have strange urges to sing the song 'La Vie Bohème' from the musical RENT."

"And if we don't get her the injection soon, she'll start singing and…" Random continued.

"Too late…" Wallace said.

Harry's Girl was singing "La Vie Bohème" and dancing on the tables while doing so.

_To days of inspiration _

Playing hookie, making something out of nothing

The need to express

To communicate,

To going against the grain,

Going insane

Going mad

To loving tension, no pension

To more than one dimension,

To starving for attention,

Hating convention, hating pretension

Not to mention of course,

Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike,

Midday past the three- piece suits

To fruits to no absolutes

To Absolut- to choice

To the Village Voice

To any passing fad

To being an us-for once-, instead of a them –

Random grabbed a syringe out of Harry's Girl's purse labeled "Use in case of La Vie Bohème syndrome" and jabbed it into Harry's Girl's leg before she could sing anymore. She immediately got off the table and sat down.

"What the heck just happened?" she asked.

"Um… you had a case of La Vie Bohème syndrome." Lady Tottington said.

"That's the second time I've had it this week!" she said.

"I think we should order to go." Victoria suggested.

"Good idea." Wallace said. "We don't want another incident happening like that again." They ordered their food, paid, and walked out into the streets.

"Does anybody have any ideas on what to do next?" Jack Skellington asked.

"Me next! Me next!" Jack Sparrow exclaimed as he jumped up and down and waved his arms frantically.

"Anybody have any ideas that don't have to do with rum?" Jack Skellington clarified. Jack Sparrow stopped what he was doing and pouted.

Victoria raised her hand and said, "I think we should scare old people at the senior citizen's home." Victor inched away from her.

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Meanwhile, in a far away cave, Barkis the Butt-Face Bittern had set up a network that tracked down every random adventure of the characters and fanfiction writers.

"So they're having a random adventure, eh?" He said evilly. "I'll make this one they'll never forget." He cackled maniacally until he fell to the ground from lack of air. (Which is impossible if you're already dead)

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_End of chapter! How'd you guys like this one? Review and I shall send out Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Cake, sparkling grape juice, and videos of Jack Sparrow's stomach rumbling._

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	3. Vulture Hats and Scaring Old People!

Disclaimer: See Chapter one

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits**, **Random Little Writer** and **Dawn Over the Valley **for reviewing!

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Everybody went through the magic portal again and they landed outside a nursing home called Uncle Boris' Home for the Elderly.

"How are we going to this?" Emily asked.

"Okay, we sneak in through a window wearing camouflage and armed with tubas, stink bombs, and a large fish. And one of us has to go in disguise as an old person so they can let us know when to get ourselves in." Victoria proposed.

"Now who's going to be the old person?" Nausicaa asked.

"NOT ME!!" Everybody exclaimed except for Victor Quartermaine.

"Well, Quartermaine, it looks like you have to be an old woman." Harry's Girl declared.

"Why me?" Quartermaine whined. "Why couldn't it be Van Dort?"

"We'll give you two reasons why you have to be the old lady," Victor said. "One: We just plain hate you. Two: Everybody said 'Not me' before you did."

"Drat!" Quartermaine exclaimed.

"Let's get this rabbit killer some old lady clothes." Lady Tottington said. They walked into a Goodwill store which was conveniently located across from the old folk's home. They looked for about thirty minutes until they found a hideous poncho in colors such as diarrhea green, neon pink, and soot grey; a large hat with a stuffed vulture on top of it; a grey beehive do wig; a skirt made completely out of feathers and finally a pair of baby vomit yellow clogs. They paid for the items and got Victor dressed up. The final results were hilarious.

Everybody tried to stifle their laughs, but instead, they ended up laughing hysterically.

"Go ahead, laugh!" Quartermaine said.

"Sorry," Nausicaa said while gasping for air. She fell on the ground laughing.

"You just look so hilarious!" Lady Tottington smirked.

"Okay, let's take him into the nursing home." Victor said. "Who's gonna take him in?" Everybody exclaimed "Not me!" except Harry's Girl, who was slow at these kinds of things.

"Aw man!" she exclaimed. Come on Killermaine, I'll take you in. Oh yeah. Does anybody have a cane?" Jack Skellington tossed her a cane and she gave it to him and they walked into the nursing home.

When they got inside, they saw one of the most horrid things in the world: MICHAEL JACKSON WALL CIRCA 1995 WALL PAPER covering the walls and a water cooler that looked like it hadn't been used in seven years.

Just then, an old lady wheeled up to them in a wheelchair.

"I don't know you! Are you new?" she asked Quartermaine.

"Uh, yeah, my grandma is new here aren't you, GRANDMA PRUDENCE?"

"Prudence?" "She" asked her in a whisper. "What kind of name is that?" Harry's Girl immediately kicked Quartermaine in the ankle. "Uh, yes," he replied. "I'm new here, new to the country, actually."

"Welcome to the US, then." The old lady replied. Just then, the rest of the random people popped out of the bushes outside a window and they were wearing camouflage outfits. Harry's Girl gave them the signal to get their tookusses in there. They silently climbed through the window and split up in different directions.

First, Jack Skellington snuck up behind an elderly lady who was fast asleep and murmuring some random things. He then made a loud "OOGA BOOGA!" noise, which woke the old woman up who screamed bloody murder.

In another corner of the nursing home, Jack Sparrow, armed with a large fish, hid behind it and jumped out at an unexpecting old man who was drinking his prune juice. The old man ran away.

Lady Tottington was under an old man's bed and she crawled out from under it with a Gary Busey mask on her face and screamed, "OOGA BOOGA BOOGA! I'M GARY BUSEY! RAR!" The old man lying on the bed fainted, which didn't pay, because he was already in bed.

Wallace and Gromit were armed with limburger bomb and they dropped them into a cafeteria where old farts were waiting for their Brussels sprouts. This made a noxious gas that made the senior citizens tear up.

Victor and Victoria were dressed up in white sheets as ghosts and they would hide behind corners and jump out at random people.

Emily would take off her bony leg and say that her leg was run over by a train, which made the old people scream.

Nausicaa turned her eyelids inside out and asked an old man to do that. The old man tried doing it, but it ended up bad, so he chased after her waving a cane at her. (A/N: This happened to one of my cousins once… True story!)

Random, armed with a sousaphone, snuck up behind an old woman who was adjusting her hearing aid while eating her tapioca. When the lady put the hearing aid into her ear, Random blasted the instrument at maximum volume, which startled the old woman who fainted and fell face forward into her pudding. They all realized they were all in trouble, so they jumped out a window that was on the first floor.

They then gave the signal to Quartermaine and Harry's Girl to get their butts out of there, so they did. When they got outside, they laughed hysterically about their antics.

"The look on that old man's face was priceless!" Lady Tottington said between laughing fits.

"I felt bad doing it, but when else will we get the opportunity to do this?" Wallace declared. Gromit nodded his head in agreement.

Other people shared their stories about their experiences. It was then Harry's Girl to give an idea on what she wanted to do.

"How 'bout we play pirates in someone's backyard?" she asked.

They then poofed into a random person's back yard.

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_End of chapter! What'd you guys think about this one? Review and I shall send out videos of me and the others scaring the old people, Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream cake from my b-day (January Third), and sparkling grape juice! Happy reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	4. Rottweilers and Pirate Escapades!

Disclaimer: See chapter one

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits** and **Random Little Writer** for reviewing again!

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They looked around at their surroundings and saw that the backyard had a play fort, perfect for pirate action.

"Okay, we should split up into teams." Jack Skellington said. "Nausicaa, Random, Harry's Girl, Jack Sparrow, Emily: You'll be a team." They cheered and bumped each other.

"Let's call ourselves The Black Roses!" Emily declared. They then climbed up into a tree where a tree-house was.

"Victor, Victoria, and Lady Tottington: You're a team."

"Our team name will be The British Invasion." Lady Tottington said. They climbed onto the jungle gym.

"And finally, Wallace, Gromit and I will be on the same team and our team name will be The Smarties." Jack Skellington finished. They found a tent that was randomly in the backyard for no apparent reason.

"Hey! What about me?!" Quartermaine whined.

"Oh dear, that is a problem." Victoria said.

"Umm… You can be the treasure we're fighting over." Wallace suggested.

"Sounds good to me!" Nausicaa piped up.

"Okay, just get on with the bloody fight!" Jack Sparrow shouted.

Cannons just randomly popped out of nowhere and everyone was wearing pirate gear.

"You good-for-nothing slime-bags!" Harry's Girl shouted at the other teams. "Give back the Buddha statue or I'll fire!"

"I'm a Buddha statue?" Quartermaine shrieked. "So totally not fair!"

"In case you didn't know," Random said. "Buddha statues aren't supposed to scream. They're supposed to meditate and be peaceful."

"So are you going to surrender?" Nausicaa asked.

"NEVER!" Jack Skellington and Victor screamed.

"Have it your way, then." Emily said. She stuffed a large ham into the cannon and fired at the other forts.

"Why are you using hams?" Victoria asked. "That could've fed a third-world village!"

"Sorry!" Nausicaa replied. "That was the first thing we saw in there, so we stuffed it into the cannon."

"Just use other random things beside meat products." Jack Skellington said. Everyone resumed fighting. One time, The British Invasion used cheese as a bomb and Wallace screamed, "NOT THE CHEESE!"

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In the secret cave Barkis was hiding in, he had four other people with him.

"My plan is to ruin the random troop's escapades of randomosity, so they will give up being random forever."

"You can't totally give up being random!" a boy's voice exclaimed.

"Yeah!" another boy said. "That's like giving up breathing!"

"Do you not want to get paid for this?" a girl's voice hissed.

"Yeah!" a deep voice added. "I've been broke since my last scheme to get rid of the fat guy!"

Arguing kept on going on until Barkis used an air horn to shut them up.

"Listen, Lock, Shock, Barrel, and Oogie." Barkis said. "This is really important to me. If you want to get paid in snake and spider stew, follow my plan!" They all leaned in to hear Barkis whisper his plan.

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It was about thirty minutes into the fight when tragedy struck. A pack of rottweilers came out of nowhere and chased the random people of the yard. They narrowly escaped the snapping jaws of the guard dogs and closed the fence that encircled the backyard.

"That was too close!" Random said, out of breath.

Gromit nodded and wiped the nervous sweat from his brow.

"Something's not right." Nausicaa said suspiciously.

"What is it?" Wallace asked.

"I saw no dog droppings in the backyard, yet rottweilers attacked us." She replied.

"You're right," Victor said.

"I smell a rat named Barkis." Victoria said.

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_End of chapter! What will happen next? Review and I'll send out brownies, Sprite, Sour Patch Kids, and videos of the pirate action! Happy Reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	5. Exploding Caves and BonFires!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits** and **Random Little Writer **for reviewing!

Disclaimer: …

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Back at the scary cave, Oogie, Lock, Shock and Barrel were laughing their heads off about releasing the rottweilers on the random people.

"That was so hilarious!" Shock giggled insanely.

"Yeah," Lock said. "The look on their faces was priceless!"

"I… Can't… Breathe!" Oogie choked out while laughing.

Barrel was choking on his own air from laughing so hard.

"Okay, everybody!" Barkis said. "Insane giggling time is over!" Nobody stopped laughing. This went on for seven minutes until Barkis used an air horn to make them shut up. "As I was saying, your efforts were very good…" Just then, the cave randomly blew up and they found themselves in a flowery field.

"That was really random…" Oogie said.

"UGH! How the heck did that happen?" Barkis growled.

"I have no idea, but I don't think we're gonna have a secret lair anymore." Barrel said.

"How 'bout we build a tree-house?" Barkis asked.

"Sounds good to me!" Lock exclaimed.

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"Does anybody have any ideas on what they want to do?" Lady Tottington asked. Nausicaa raised her hand. "Yes?"

"I'd like to have a bon-fire, burning random, scary stuff." She said. Then everybody got up and found wood piles that were randomly lying around and lit them on fire.

The people went and found stuff that they hated with a passion. Harry's Girl got a pair of uncomfortable, pointy toed pumps that she used during her school play and a headless dummy that her theater teacher made. Nausicaa obtained a Tickle-Me Elmo that sounded like a whale being strangled whenever someone "tickled" it. Random found a Furby that was randomly lying on the street. Emily, Lady Tottington, and Victoria found a bunch of Paris Hilton and Millie Vanilly CD's in a dumpster and tossed them onto the burning pile. Victor found sixty dead worms and threw them into the inferno. Wallace and Gromit got some creepy cymbal monkeys that looked like they were possessed. Jack Skellington retrieved disturbing pictures of Gerard Depardieu running around on a beach naked. Jack Sparrow got photos of someone wasting rum. And finally, Quartermaine tossed a large centerfold of Michael Jackson wearing a Tarzan outfit onto the pile of burning trash. The result was a large fire and everyone roasted weenies and marshmallows and made pudgy pies. (A/N: Pudgy pies are two pieces of bread with either chocolate, peanut butter, pie filling, or meat and cheese in a pie holder and cooked over a fire.)

Midway through the fire, Random found something that caught her eye: A poster advertising Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream cake. She read the poster. It said: "Do you crave for Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream cake? If you do, come to the tree house in the large oak tree in this backyard. There's a large neon sign advertising it."

"GUYS! GUYS!" Random shouted as she ran back to the bon-fire. "THERE'S A TREE HOUSE IN THIS BACKYARD SELLING BEN AND JERRY'S ICE CREAM CAKE!"

"We should get some." Lady Tottington said.

"Yeah," Victoria replied. "Do the men want to come with us?"

"Nah," Jack Sparrow said. "We'll stay here."

"Fine, suit yourself." Nausicaa said. "But you're not getting any cake."

All of the girls found the tree-house and climbed up the ladder leading to the shop. When they got in there, there stood a rather portly man.

"HaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLlllllllllllllllllloooooooooooOOOOOO, ladies!" The portly man said. "How can I help you?"

"We'll take six pieces of Ben and Jerry's cake." Harry's Girl said.

"Will that be for here or to go?" the portly man asked.

"For here!" Victoria exclaimed. The portly man pulled a lever behind the counter and a trapdoor opened beneath their feet and they fell into complete and total darkness.

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_CLIFF HANGER! How'd you guys like this chapter? Review and I shall send out Ben and Jerry's Ice cream cake, sparkling grape juice, and chocolate covered graham cookies. Happy reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	6. Noxious Perfume and Cowering Boogie Men!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of Spirits**, **Dawn Over The Valley**, **and Random Little Writer** for reviewing!

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

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When they got out of the darkness, they all found themselves in… **A SNOBBY DEPARTMENT STORE**!

"What the heck?" Nausicaa asked.

"Why are we in a department store?" Random asked.

"I have no clue," Emily replied. "But let's get out of here… this perfume is giving me a headache!"

They ran through the store. Victoria was hit by a cloud of noxious perfume and she coughed. Harry's Girl was hit by a puff of Elizabeth Taylor's perfume called "White Diamonds", which smelled like old ladies and she fell to the ground. Lady Tottington was bombarded by horrid-smelling fragrance and she hacked out whooping coughs from the horrid smell. Emily was hit by a foul smelling _eau de toilette_ that smelled like bad breath and rotting eggs. Nausicaa was unfortunately knocked into a perfume coma by a perfume that smelled like it hadn't been used in five centuries. Random was wounded by a scent that reeked of dog butt. They barely made it out of there in time and they luckily got back to the bon-fire. They carried Nausicaa back and waved a chocolate/marshmallow pudgy pie under her nose to wake her up.

"Did you guys bring back any cake?" Jack Sparrow asked.

"No." Emily replied, hacking.

"What took you guys so long to get back?" Victor questioned.

The girls told the men about their horrible experience in the noxious smelling department store and being attacked by perfume.

"I'm never going through the fragrance section again after what happened to us." Nausicaa declared.

"Well at least you're out of there," Wallace said, while chewing on a roasted weenie. Gromit nodded in agreement.

"Oh yeah? Do you guys have any ideas on what you wanna do next?" Harry's Girl asked. Emily raised her hand.

"Let's make prank phone calls!" she exclaimed.

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Back in the tree house, Barkis was furious at the incompetent henchmen (and woman).

"You guys…put the pipe… IN A DEPARTMENT STORE?!" Barkis snarled.

"Sorry!" Lock, Shock and Barrel exclaimed in unison. "We'll get it next time!"

"Yeah," Oogie said, cowering behind a fridge that was randomly in the tree house. "We had some technical difficulties trying to find my lair."

"If you guys don't get it next time, you're not getting any Snake-and-Spider stew!" Barkis barked. The Halloweentown citizens gasped in horror. "Now get back to work!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" they exclaimed in a military fashion. They immediately went to working on getting the pipe to the right location.

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_End of chapter! Sorry if this was short. Review and I'll send out mini-brownie bites, Chex mix, and root beer floats! Happy reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	7. Prank Calls and Exploding Dinosaurs!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits**, **Random Little Writer**, and **Dawn Over The Valley **for reviewing!

Disclaimer: see chapter one

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Emily pulled a cell-phone out of her pocket.

"Who should we prank first?" she asked.

"I know! I know!" Jack Sparrow cried. "Let's prank that slimy worm Cutler Beckett!" He took the phone from Emily and dialed Beckett's phone number, but he remembered to dial star 67 before doing so. Jack put it on speaker phone. The phone rang two times before someone picked up.

"Hello?" Beckett answered.

"Yes, I'm calling to confirm your order of 700 zebras." Jack Sparrow said in a womanly voice.

"ZEBRAS?!" Beckett shrieked like a girly man. "I didn't order any zebras!"

"Well, the order form never lies." Jack replied. Beckett screamed like a little girl and he hung up the phone.

"Who's next?" Jack said in his normal voice.

"Let's call Captain Barbossa," Harry's Girl exclaimed. She dialed the number and Barbossa picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he said.

"Is Hector Barbossa there?" Harry's Girl said in a voice similar to the scary little girl's voice from The Ring.

"This is he." He replied.

"Seven days…" she whispered.

"OH MY GOD! I WATCHED THE ACCURSED VIDEO TAPE! I KNEW THAT I SHOULD'VE RENTED THE BARNEY MOVIE!" he screamed. "I'M GOING TO DIE!" Harry's Girl hung up and then tossed it to Nausicaa. She dialed someone's number.

In Barney World, the phone rang at Barney the purple dinosaur's house. He was in the middle of making his favorite sandwich: Ham between pumpernickel bread. (A/N: Don't ask me how I remember that. Blame my little cousins for watching Barney) He picked up the phone.

"Hello! This is Barney the dinosaur! Who is this?" He said and chuckled in his usual dorky voice.

Nausicaa put on a convincing Hannibal Lecter voice. "This is Hannibal Lecter." she said.

"Well, howdy-doo, Mr. Lecter! What'd you want to speak to me about?" He stupidly asked.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me on Friday night. I'm having fava beans and a nice Chianti." She replied. She then made a lizard noise with her tongue, à la Hannibal Lecter. The last thing they heard was Barney screaming and then a loud BABOOM! sound, meaning he exploded.

Emily then got the phone. She dialed the number of her psycho substitute French teacher, Monsieur Bribois, who was stealing remote controls from absent teachers' desks and boring his pupils to death about things completely unrelated to France and the French language. (A/N: This person was inspired by a psycho substitute teacher in my second year of French while my regular French teacher was on maternity leave. He didn't stay very long because he got fired on account he bored us to death and no one participated.)

"_Allo_! Zees is Monsieur Bribois! _Parlez_ to me!" He said in Franglais. (A/N: My French teacher's word for French and English mixed together.)

Emily then said, "The Kazakhstanis are repossessing your Pepto Bismol." In Greek.

"_J'ai_ no _idée_ what you are saying!" He screamed. She kept on saying random stuff in different languages until M. Bribois ran out of the class room screaming like a soprano being kicked really hard.

She tossed the phone to Victoria, who called her old music teacher, Mrs. Thodee, a cranky, old lady with brillo-pad hair, scary sweaters, and pants pulled up to her stomach. (A/N: Yet again, this person is inspired by one of my old substitute teachers.) She answered the phone.

"Hello?" she crankily answered.

"Hey, baby." Victoria said in an Issac Hayes voice. "This is the guy across the street. I was wondering if you have any pigs' feet."

"Yes, I do." The cranky woman replied.

"Oh," Victoria replied. "Because I was wondering how you can fit in regular shoes." She hung up and laughed in her regular voice.

"It's your turn, Jack!" she said as she handed the phone to Jack Skellington. He dialed the number of a girl who had a severe pickle phobia.

The girl with the irrational fear picked up the phone and answered.

"Hello?" she answered nervously.

"Hey Lexi," Jack whispered creepily. "It's a pickle calling."

The girl screamed and accidentally tossed her phone into the toilet out of fear.

The random group kept on calling unsuspecting people. Nausicaa got bored standing around listening to their phone conversations, so she went into a field of flowers to frolic about. She picked some daffodils and lilies and made a bouquet. She then spotted a flower not native to North America, Thinking nothing of it, she picked it and sniffed it. The flower then knocked her out with sleeping gas.

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_Cliffy! What will happen to Nausicaa of the Spirits? Find out in the next chapter! Review and I'll send out caramel apple empanadas, Dr. Pepper and gummy bears. Happy Reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	8. Da Oogie Boogie Song and Flashes of Lite

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits **and **Random Little Writer **for reviewing! If I were Jack Sparrow, reviews would be my rum.

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Disclaimer: See chapter one, you lazy peeps.

Nausicaa woke up from her flower-induced coma.

"So in love with Orlando Bloom and Jack Skellington…" she murmured, half awake. After she woke up a bit more, she found that her glasses were askew on her face and she was being dragged on the ground in a burlap sack.

"What the heck?" she wondered. She then heard three familiar voices: none other than Lock, Shock, and Barrel.

"Where'd you find that sleep-inducing flower, Shock?" Barrel asked.

"I snuck into Dr. Finklestein's house and snagged some Lullaby Lily. It wasn't easy at first, but I just had to take my giant mallet and knock it over his head to knock him out." Shock declared proudly.

"You're the epitome of evil," Lock said.

"How do you think I got into Oogie's gang?" Shock replied. They all laughed maniacally.

Nausicaa, realizing she was in dire trouble, started thrashing about in the sack.

"Oh great," Lock grumbled. "The kid is trying to escape."

"I'm not a kid, I'm a teenager, you little monsters! Now let me go!" Nausicaa snarled.

"No!" The little monsters replied.

Nausicaa started screaming her lungs out for help.

"Shut up!" Barrel exclaimed, kicking her in the side.

"Make me!" she said. She was then taken out of the sack and pushed down a pipe. She slid about halfway down the pipe until she stopped. She then started climbing up the tunnel. She almost got to the top of the pipe, when her foot banged hard on the pipe.

"Oh, no's!" Barrel exclaimed. "She's trying to escape!"

"We should block the pipe!" Lock suggested.

"Don't worry…" Shock said coolly. "Oogie'll take care of this in no time."

Just then, Nausicaa heard Oogie roaring.

"Oh, dear…" Nausicaa said. She was then sucked down the pipe and landed on a roulette wheel. She was immediately shackled to it. She looked up only to see Oogie Boogie standing above her.

"Bugger." She said.

Oogie started singing his song.

_Well, well, well_

_What have we here?_

_Nausicaa, huh?_

_Ooh, I'm really scared!_

_So you're the one everyone's talkin' about._

_You're jokin', you're jokin'_

_I can't believe my eyes!_

_You're jokin' me, you gotta be!_

_This can't be the right girl!_

_She's young, she's wearin' glasses_

_I might just split a seam_

_If I don't die laughin' first!_

"Heck," Nausicaa said. "Don't mind me saying, but he's a real pain in the patookie."

Oogie kept on singing his song, paying no mind to her comments. He finished his song with

_I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie_

_And you ain't goin' nowhere._

* * *

Back with the other crashers, they were looking for Nausicaa. Emily looked on a swing set; Victoria looked up in a tree; Victor searched through the flower field; Random and Harry's Girl looked behind some bushes; Lady Tottington looked on top of some rooftops; Wallace and Gromit checked to see if she was hiding in a random cardboard box; Jack Skellington looked in some random houses; and Jack Sparrow looked in his bottle of rum to see if she was in there.

"OMIGOD!" Emily cried out. "NAUSICAA'S MISSING!"

"I think I have a feeling where she is…" Jack Skellington said. Before he could say anymore, there was a bright flash of light. The next moment, Will Turner was standing there.

"I heard about your dilemma." He said.

* * *

_CLIFFY! What will happen next? Find out in the next chapter! Oh yeah... What'd you guys think of this chapter? Review and I shall be grateful!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	9. A Plot Twist! Dun dun duh!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits**, **Dawn over the Valley**, and **Random Little Writer **for reviewing!

Disclaimer: See chapter one, you lazy bums!

* * *

"Will! My eunuch friend! You're here!" Jack Sparrow exclaimed.

"Dude," Will replied. "Don't call me 'your eunuch friend'."

"Sorry," Jack muttered.

"Anyway," Will continued. "I heard about Nausicaa being captured, so I came here to help."

"Great!" Jack Skellington exclaimed. "We'll need all the help we can get!"

Just then, another plot twist unfolded.

"OMIGAWD! OMIGAWD!" Harry's Girl screamed at the top of her lungs, waving a piece of notebook paper in her hand. "I FOUND A BETRAYAL NOTE!"

"Read it to us!" Lady Tottington exclaimed.

" 'Dear Random Crew,' " Harry's Girl read aloud. " 'I am sick of your shenanigans that involve me getting hurt, getting me made fun of, or tormented in any form. And I'm just plain _sick_ of your shenanigans. That's why I'm leaving your crew for Barkis'. Adieu and Smell Ya Later, Victor Quartermaine.' "

"AAAUGH!" Random groaned. "That weenus!" (A/N: That's a friend me and my friends use to describe losers and people we don't like.)

"I knew we couldn't trust him!" Victor exclaimed.

"He's probably torturing poor Nausicaa with Barkis!" Victoria said.

"And apparently with Oogie Boogie and his boys, too." Wallace said.

"How'd you know that?" Jack Sparrow asked.

"Well," Wallace said. "I found some fabric not native to this continent, or even of this world. With further testing, I discovered that the fabric was from a burlap sack, native to Halloweentown."

"Oogie Boogie…" Emily growled.

"We should make a plan!" Gromit wrote on a piece of paper.

"Great idea!" Will said.

* * *

Back in Barkis' lair, Barkis Butt-Face, Oogie's boys, and Oogie Boogie were busy gathering stuff for the Snake and Spider Stew that they were going to put Nausicaa in.

"She's gonna make a nice addition to the stew!" Oogie said.

"You bet!" Lock, Shock and Barrel exclaimed in unison.

"And she won't be around to interfere with my plans anymore." Barkis hissed evilly.

Nausicaa gulped. She knew she was in deep trouble.

* * *

_End of chapter! Sorry it was so short, though. What'd you guys think of it? Review and I'll send out Sprite, Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts and chocolate-covered pretzels. Happy reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	10. Whistle Noises and Plans of Action!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits**, **Random Little Writer**, and **Dawn over the Valley **for reviewing!

Disclaimer: Nope, not typing one. You'll just have to see chapter one, you lazy bums.

* * *

"What's our plan of action?" Emily asked.

"Well…" Harry's Girl said. "I'm an expert at squeaking high notes on my clarinet, so I reckon I can do some of that."

"Okay, we'll go with the squeaking." Will said.

"Me and Victor can do some kung-fu moves." Victoria suggested.

"WHAT?!" Victor shrieked. "You know I'm completely and totally clumsy."

"Suck it up, babe." She coolly replied.

"The kung-fu moves are a go." Will said.

"I'll invent some sort of fighting machine!" Wallace exclaimed.

"And I'll help!" Gromit wrote on a piece of paper.

"I'll screech some loud, high opera notes." Lady Tottington declared.

"I'll do something totally and completely random, yet effective." Random said.

"I'll scare the wits out of people!" Emily cried.

"Okay, Harry's Girl is squeaking; Victor and Victoria are doing Kung Fu moves; Wallace and Gromit are making some sort of fighting machine; Lady Tottington is screeching opera; and Random, well… she's being random." Will listed. "And Jack…" he said, referring to Jack Sparrow. "You'll do whatever it is you do. And Jack Skellington and I will work as a team."

"Okay, team…" Jack Skellington said. "LET'S GO SAVE NAUSICAA!"

* * *

Nausicaa, still on the roulette table, was waiting for the random crew to save her. When the villains who were holding her captive were occupied with something else, something caught her eye. It was Sally Finklestein.

"Nausicaa!" Sally whispered, being careful not to attract the attention of Barkis, Quartermaine, Oogie, Lock, Shock, and Barrel. "I've come to save you!"

"Great!" Nausicaa replied. "Could you hurry up though? These ropes that are binding me to the table are cutting off the circulation to my ankles and wrists."

"I'll do my best!" She said. Sally snuck down to the opening of the lair, which was a barred door. She un-sewed one of her legs from her body and stuck it through the bars.

This caught Oogie, Quartermaine and Barkis' attention. There was a random romantic whistle noise in the background.

They started tickling the foot while Oogie's Boys laughed at the pathetic butt-face, rabbit killer, and the huge burlap sack.

_This is all going according to plan._ Nausicaa thought. But suddenly, everything went horribly wrong! They tickled the leg too hard and it fell through the bars onto the ground.

"What?!? You tryin' to make a dupe out of us?!" Barkis, Oogie, and Quartermaine yelled in unison. (A/N: I find it a bit creepy that they all yelled the same thing at the exact same time. Oh, well… this is the world of fan-fiction. You gotta expect these things.) They then spotted Sally and put her on the roulette table, forcefully.

"Well this is a fine kettle of fish." Sally said sarcastically.

"Oh yes," Nausicaa replied. "Quite a kettle."

* * *

_End of chapter! What will happen next? Oh yeah, what'd you guys think of this chapter? Review and I'll send out poutine (french-fries w/ cheese and gravy), Mountain Dew and brownie bites._

_Happy Reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	11. Of Threats and Insults

Thanks to **Random Little Writer**, **Dawn over the Valley**, and **Nausicaa of the Spirits **for reviewing!

* * *

The random crew was well on their way to Oogie's lair in order to save Nausicaa. It took them a while, though. At least two hours at the most.

This conversation happened when they were about fifteen minutes away from the lair:

"Are we there yet?" Harry's Girl whined.

"Not yet." Jack Skellington replied. Two seconds went by.

"How 'bout now?" Random asked.

"Nope," Emily replied. Five more seconds went by.

"How 'bout now?" Random and Harry's Girl asked in unison.

"NO! WE ARE NOT THERE YET! IF YOU KEEP ON ASKING IF WE'RE THERE YET AND WE'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT, YOU TWO'RE GETTING HIT WITH A SHOVEL!" Jack Sparrow yelled.

They both shut up. They then arrived at Oogie's lair. Being very quiet, they snuck into an air vent where they all conveniently fit into it. When Nausicaa and Sally came into view, Jack Skellington said, "Will and I are going down there to save Nausicaa and Sally."

"Best of luck," Lady Tottington said.

Gromit saluted them as they descended into Oogie's lair to save the girls.

* * *

Nausicaa was bawling her eyes out. She didn't want to be an addition to the Snake 'n' Spider Stew.

"Why did it have to end like this? I want to live to see Orlando Bloom at least once." She lamented.

"Aw, shut up, you thorn in my side." Barkis barked. "I am getting rid of you so the random crew can have no more adventures. Besides, with one of them missing, they'll be incomplete."

"You'll never get away with this!" Sally piped up.

"Is that so, Rag-doll?" Quartermaine asked cynically.

"NEVER call me Rag-doll, you sack of dung." She snarled.

"What'd you say, **Rag-doll**?" Oogie asked her just to annoy her. Sally slapped Oogie across the face, knocked his teeth crooked, punched his face in, and spit in his eye. Lock, Shock and Barrel gasped.

"THAT'S IT!" Oogie boomed. "YOU'RE GOIN' INTO THE STEW!" He pulled the lever and Nausicaa and Sally went into the stew. Or so he thought.

"Hello, Oogie." Jack Skellington and Will said in unison, peering over the roulette table that previously held Sally and Nausicaa.

"OMIGOD!" Nausicaa yelled, standing next to Sally (obviously they didn't end up in the stew). "IT'S WILL TURNER!"

* * *

_End of chapter! Will the Random Team succeed in defeating Barkis and his gang? Find out in the next chapter of "THE ADVENTURE OF RANDOMNESS!" And for reviewing, I'll hand out hot apple cider, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts, and Three Musketeer Bars. _

_Happy reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	12. Playing Possum and Sarcasm!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits **and **Random Little Writer** for reviewing!

Disclaimer: …

"You harmed Nausicaa and Sally, so it's time to get unraveled again, tubby!" Jack Skellington said.

"Is that so?" Oogie said. He pushed a big red button and booby traps came out. There were models of playing cards equipped with swords that went thrashing everywhere. Jack and Will expertly dodged them like pros. Then, the platform on which the roulette table was on started spinning. They ran and caught up to Oogie, who was pretty much staying in one place.

* * *

Meanwhile, the rest of the random crew was fighting Oogie's boys, Quartermaine and Barkis. 

Harry's Girl was squeaking her clarinet at the highest note she could play, but it had no effect, so she just bashed it over their heads.

Victor and Victoria were using their teamwork-required kung-fu moves which worked until Quartermaine hit Victor in the ankle with his hunting gun.

"Lights fading… limbs growing cold…" Victor said, playing possum. "Rosebud…" he dropped to the ground. (Reference to Over the Hedge)

"Victor!" Victoria exclaimed. "Quit playing possum and get up. And stop quoting Over the Hedge!" Victor obeyed, put on his brave face, and started fighting like someone out of one of The Matrix movies.

Wallace and Gromit were fighting with ease, thanks to the Rocky Punch-o-Matic 5000. It punched like Rocky Balboa, Muhammad Ali, and Maggie Fitzgerald from Million Dollar Baby combined and multiplied by ten.

Emily scared the ba-jeez-ess out of the villains by making all sorts of creepy-crawly creatures crawl out of every opening in her face, which made Barkis scream like a little girl.

Lady Tottington tried to sing opera like Kristin Chenoweth at really high notes and ended up bursting the villains' eardrums.

Random, being her random self, used saran wrap to corral Lock, Shock, and Barrel, used a hair dryer to keep the bindings together, and let them squirm around, trying to get out of that sticky situation.

Jack Sparrow, being the rum addict that he is, bashed a rum bottle over Quartermaine and Barkis' heads.

Nausicaa and Sally worked together by spinning each other around really fast, letting them go, and hurling themselves into the evil people.

* * *

Will and Jack were still fighting Oogie. Finally, something good happened: One of the fibers of Oogie's burlap sack got caught on one of the thrashing swords and started unraveling. Will and Jack saw this as an opportune moment and grabbed onto the string. 

"How dare you treat our friends so shamefully!" Jack exclaimed. Will yanked the string and Oogie's bugs started shrieking, "My bugs! My bugs! My bugs… My bugs…" The last bug scurried away only to be squished by Nausicaa's foot.

"Oh, shut it." She said. (Reference to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest)

The fight was over. The villains were writhing on the ground in pain and defeat.

"Huzza!" cheered the heroes. Lady Tottington called the police to come and take the evil-doers away to jail.

"Thanks for saving me, Will." Nausicaa said.

"It's no problem." Will said. He kissed Nausicaa on the cheek, which caused her to blush and giggle.

"I will be back!" Barkis shouted. "I swear I will come and get rid of you all!"

"Oh yeah, and I'm the queen of Monaco!" Harry's Girl replied sarcastically.

"You are? Lucky!" Quartermaine said.

Lock, Shock and Barrel started bowing down as if Harry's Girl really was the queen of Monaco.

"That was sarcasm, you idiots!" Random replied.

The villains were then dragged away by the police and thrown into cop cars.

* * *

_End of chapter! This isn't the last chapter, though! As always, I will have a post-parody party. Oh yeah... What'd you guys think of this chapter? Review and I'll send out caramel-apple pie, blueberry muffins, and caramel corn. _

_Happy Reviewing!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


	13. Epilogue!

Thanks to **Nausicaa of the Spirits**, **Random Little Writer** and **Dawn over the Valley** for reviewing.

Disclaimer: You know the drill, you lazy peeps.

* * *

The theme of the post-parody party was Christmas themed. They felt like having this theme because they just felt like it. There was mistletoe, wreaths, and festive holiday food all over the place. Everyone went crazy for Harry's Girl's _buche de Noel_. (A/N: FYI, a buche de Noel is a cake shaped like a log and it has chocolate filling in it. I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean buche de Noel during the holidays.)

Then it came time for the mistletoe ritual. Nausicaa was kissed by Will Turner and when that happened, her soul flew out of her body, and landed on Cloud Nine where it did an Irish jig and it then returned to her body.

Quartermaine, who escaped from jail somehow, said to Nausicaa, "Do you mind if I have a kiss from you?"

"I oughta slug you for suggesting such a gross thought." She replied. She tried to punch him, but she missed and he ended up kissing her anyway.

"AAAUGH!" She screamed. "I have killer germs! Get me some hot water! Get some iodine!" Quartermaine then ran away, knowing he was in trouble.

Harry's Girl and Jack Sparrow were kissing each other like there was no tomorrow. Victoria sweetly pecked Victor on the lips, same with Sally and Jack Skellington. Lady Tottington and Wallace just hugged each other because they weren't ready for that step in their relationship.

All this happened when Random, Gromit, and Emily were sitting by themselves, kissing no one.

"It sucks being the only ones at a mistletoe party without someone to kiss." Random sighed. Gromit nodded in agreement.

"I totally agree with you." Emily replied.

"I thought you were dating Fiyero," Gromit wrote on a piece of paper. (A/N: Fiyero was the hot cashier that Emily flirted with in my previous CB fic Those Darn Paparazzi!)

"Yeah," Emily said. "But he dumped me for the blonde lady who worked in the bakery department. Curse you, apple fritters!"

Just then, a blinding flash of light appeared and within the next second, Bonejangles, Harry Potter, and Buttercup (from Nausicaa of the Spirits' fic Wallace and Gromit Version 2 Point 0) were standing in its place.

"Hey, darlin'!" Bonejangles exclaimed to Emily. She kissed him on the cheekbone.

Buttercup and Gromit licked each others' faces in affection.

"I'm so glad that you're here, Harry." Random said.

"It's no problem, really." Harry replied. "All I need to do is flick my wand and I'll be there for you." They pecked each other and everything went perfect.

Well, that is until Oogie Boogie randomly assembled himself back together and went to find the rest of the villains to make another plot.

* * *

**Random and Nausicaa: Whoo! We did it! (they bump each other)**

**Nausicaa: This was so fun making this parody!**

**Random: I'm going to miss this one.**

**Me: Don't worry guys, there's another one that's in the thought process of my mind.**

**Random and Nausicaa: (hug me 'til I turn blue)**

_Thank you to all of those who reviewed! You all deserve some hot apple cider, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Sour Patch Kids!_

_-Harry's Girl 01031992_


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